Reaction Time: Lightspeed Edition


Good news, kiddies: I’m finally all caught up on Heroes! Reaction Time will (finally) resume come Monday. The world is a little bit more right again. In the mean time, here’s some of my in-the-moment notes/reactions to the episodes I was behind on. There is a good amount of random hilarity, more rage, and then a smidgen of actual insight which I will expound upon later because I had A Genuine Moment Of Understanding. Given my penchant for verbal flailing and tendency to miss the obvious, this is KIND OF A BIG DEAL. So yeah. Reaction Time returning to its regular schedule Monday January 18th. I am hell of excited.

“THANKSGIVING”
– Wow Petrelli family Thanksgiving. Less or more intense than I was expecting.
– Doug at Bennet family Thanksgiving as the only one who doesn’t know things. Possibly THE funniest thing that has happened on Heroes this season. I love being reminded about the comedy element of this show because it’s just so easy to forget.
– I knew this whole Lauren thing was going to come back around at some point. But WHY.
– We knew Samuel killed Joseph. Duh. But Jesus fuck that was scary. Also really pretty (the setting, I mean).
– Nathan-splosion. LOVE IT.
– I can’t believe he kissed Angela Petrelli. That is the most wonderful genius thing.
– NO. NATHAN. DO NOT FIGHT HIM. JUST. BE. DEAD. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
– Ah, roadtrips. The backbone of the Heroes universe.

“THE FIFTH STAGE”
– Of cooooourse. Because it’s a miracle we’ve gone THIS long without a dude with dopplegangers.
– Man make-up must suck for Dawn Olivieri
– Did they HAVE to use the cheerleader uniform for “Indestructible Girl”?
– The carnival is about six million times scarier as a carnival than as a traveling family of abilitied folk.
– Can Sylar please be the old lady in crocs all the time?
– I loooooooove having Sylar back, tick-tocks and all.
– I’m sorry, but Zach Quinto as Sylar and Milo Ventimiglia as Peter is not the most believable pair for a knock-down, drag-out fight. Just…no.
– Really? We’re gonna horizontal-crucify him? The. Fuck. The only way this could possibly work out well plot-wise is if Peter actually kills Sylar. And obviously that’s not going to happen. So. You know.
– The face-change effects are freaking amazing nowadays.
– Why am I okay with all this? Because I hate Gretchen. Even though she’s being the voice of reason right now.
– I am remembering how much I like Elisabeth Rohm.
– “Hatianed” might be my new favorite verb.
– …Claire just hugged Doyle. What. The. Fuck. Did someone take her brain?
– The symbol came back to Nathan’s palm.
– Now exactly why did we not let the big jerk man beat up Samuel? Especially since we know it was (probably) staged for Claire’s benefit.
– I will concede, returning to the Peter Flying rooftop is lovely and symmetric and poetic. Now can you PLEASE KILL HIM.
– “Even death?” “Why not?” Um, I don’t know, because it’s WRONG? (See folks, this is why it’s SAD that Nathan is dead. Key part: DEAD.)
– I hate Claire so intensely.

“UPON THIS ROCK”
– The Mohinder voiceovers are the one thing I genuinely missed about him.
– Dear Samuel, Even Claire is not THAT dumb.
– OH NO. OH NO. They took away Hiro’s sense of REALITY? This could either be brilliant or go horribly horribly awry.
– Samuel was NOT an attractive child. (But he and young Joseph both get bonus points for being suuuper Irish.)
– Goddammit now it looks like I REALLY should have watched that Slow Burn thing.
– Also…are the doppleganger guys twins instead of just one? Because there’s usually two in a shot. But no more than that. It’s weird. (Also, who is he and why do I recognize him?!)
– Oh my god. Oh my god. The Hiro dialogue in this is AMAZING. This is even more nerdheaven than your standard episode of Chuck.
– Dear Emma, Why are you back? No-one wants you here. Why couldn’t you just stay away? WHY DOES SAMUEL WANT YOU?
– Oh, yeah, that’s nice writers. Just go ahead and DON’T show us the compass on the cello. Can’t have us figuring things out.
– Duplicate man in the House of Mirrors? Seriously? (Also, we are SO OVER the House of Mirrors. You already did the coolest thing you could do. Why couldn’t you leave it? Oh yeah. Because Claire is only marginally clever and it’s the best she could come up with.)
– Yeah, hey, remember how Doyle’s evil? You hugged him WHY?
– “Siren song”? Oh Jesus. But I guess that explains why anyone cares. (And I do love cello.)

“LET IT BLEED”
– I’m glad that we are FINALLY FINALLY done with Nathan. But now Peter is all Season One Emo-y again. Oy.
– …y’know, maybe it’s a bad sign for Heroes as a series that it’s so much easier to root for the most villainous of villains that it is to root for the good guys. I mean, I’m a good guys rooter. I am. But there is no-one on this show I want victory for more than Sylar. And he is a BAD DUDE.
– HOLY SHIT, HE CAN FIGHT SYLAR? LIKE, LEGITIMATELY? AND THAT IS THE MOST AMAZINGLY DISGUSTING THING I’VE EVER SEEN I LOVE IT (SYLAR SKULL FACE). THE VILLAINS ON THIS SHOW ARE SO SO GOOD. (Remember what I said about rooting for Sylar? OH yeah.)
– Claire cutting herself. That is a nice touch.
– Bitch, you don’t mess with Noah Bennet EVER, and especially not TWICE.
– NO, NO, NO, NATHAN IS NOT STILL ALIVE IN ANYWAY, NO.
– Dawn Olivieri you lucky bitch. Also, um, you should probably know about the last girl Sylar boinked…um…
– Awwww, Claire-and-Peter time! I’m sure that’s not awkward at all.
– Dear Edgar, What the hell is with your haircut and why are you being tortured when you genuinely want Samuel dead too?
– WHAT DID YOU SEE IN YOUR TATTOO?
– Wait. Wait. We’re not bringing flyboy back, right? Right? Oh. He just wanted to fly. That’s okay then.
– CLAIRE? OH that’s awkward. OH THAT’S AWKWARD. SO MUCH AWKWARD. Oh god that just makes me so uncomfortable on so many levels.

“CLOSE TO YOU”
– How could this show get any MORE ridiculous? Try to make Peter a cult leader! Of course!
– Thank you for giving me my Parkman back!
– Oh yeah, Ando has powers!
– Great to see you, Kate Vernon. I am so glad you aren’t your BSG character.
– Dammit. Seeing that symphony hall always makes me angry that my city got the shitty Gehry.
– …having Angela Petrelli hate you gives you so much cred. Congratulations. You are finally a character that matters even a little bit.
– So good to have Hiro-and-Ando back! Hijinks! Win!
– And now Peter can see the future. Hoo boy.
– Oh my god. Why has Mohinder not been part of the Hiro-Ando team before? This is brilliant!
– Greg Grunberg and Jack Coleman have always been a great duo.
– I dunno about that electroshock therapy. But okay. Progress is better than none.
– End moment. See. This is why it’s good when Heroes remembers to be funny.

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